Anghiari si racconta

I was born in Lagos, Nigeria in 1992. When I was 14, I moved to England … for opportunities. It wasn’t uncommon in Nigeria to be independent when you were very young, at least when I was growing up. I travelled to England by myself, and my brother and sisters followed me later. At that time, my mum was a seamstress, my dad was an electrician. They didn’t come to England, but they have visited me there. They still live in Nigeria.

I lived with a host family in Cambridge for around 2 years. He was Nigerian, and she was Jamaican – they were lovely people. To make some money, I would find old stuff, repair it and sell it online. While I was doing this, I met the principal of a college, who, along with my host family, encouraged me to apply for a college scholarship to pursue my passion – planes. With the scholarship, I did aeronautic engineering. I had already learnt to fly, at the age of 15 … I was a pilot before I could drive a car. I had always had a passion for planes, even in Nigeria I knew names of aircraft, I could spot a plane without ever having been in one, I knew the engines’ names, different types of aircraft from their shapes …. I still fly, single engines like Cessnas.

After I got my degree, I found that career progression in aeronautic engineering was somewhat limited (I wasn’t going to be the CEO of a rocket company), and that what I was really interested in was software programming. So, I transitioned to software engineering, then to AI, which is what I work in now. It was a smooth transition, it’s all maths – with a good foundation in maths, you can …

I met Alessia while I was living in London. I had put my spare room on Airbnb – back then it was about meeting people, and in London there was no time apart from work … it gets a bit lonely when you come home late. It was a nice apartment in a good area, the Docklands. Alessia was coming to London for a conference, and a friend booked her into my place as it was close to the conference centre.

When we met, Alessia was living in Pieve and I visited her there. We visited Anghiari, a beautiful town that Alessia loved, but, at that point, we didn’t talk much about it – we weren’t living together. Then, she moved to London, we were there for a while, then we went digital nomading. We lived in various places, in America, central America. Then we came back to Italy and, instead of going to Pieve, we came to Anghiari. That was 2018. Alessia rented a place in the street that runs up to [the church] Propositura. We were together at that point.

We went back to London for a while. We had Ruby during the peak of Covid and thought that maybe it would be worthwhile going back to Anghiari – in London, with Covid lockdown, you didn’t have much space for yourself and you wanted to be outdoors. When we came here, it was a breath of fresh air, and Alessia’s parents live close by. Every morning we had a ritual of walking down the same road, close to nature. It was a very good thing to come back here.

We thought we would stay here for a couple of months every year and it would be good to have a place of our own. So, we started looking for a house to buy. It was the outdoor space of this place that made us fall in love with it. It had so much potential. We were lucky because, during Covid, there were fewer people bidding for houses. And, the seller wanted the house to go to the right people – beyond the money, he saw a young family, he saw Ruby. He is very attached to the place and comes every so often to visit us … he lives just outside Anghiari.

Now that the renovations are almost complete, I have to get back to the office, in London – they have been very patient! I do miss London. We plan to divide our time between here and there.

Almost straight away, I had the sense of Anghiari as an open place. I like it that you meet different people from all over the world here. It is a small town and, from my limited perspective, most other small towns in Italy feel a bit more close-minded, whereas this town has so many international people and is very welcoming. For some reason, Anghiari attracts ‘nice’ tourists… the locals say that too. It is not the sort of tourism you get in Cortona or San Gimignano – it is slow tourism.

There is something special about the simplicity of the town, it is untouched. Traditions have been maintained, the people are not seduced by money, they are down to earth. And they are polite. Doors are open – they invite you in for coffee. They are fantastic people. It is beautiful to see. Around here the people are very friendly, it’s a lovely community. Meoni’s kids help me when they see me carrying things; Anna is teaching me about gardening. People here are always going out of their way to help. In London, when they offer to help, they don’t mean it; here, they are serious.

I started learning Italian when I met Alessia. I try to get by in it and it’s improved a lot during this stay, the longest time I’ve spent in Italy, from September to July. Alessia speaks with Ruby in Italian, and I speak with her in English. This is working well.

Belonging is complex for me. I feel attached to London, Cambridge, but I have a deep attachment to Lagos, Nigeria. When you emigrate, you want to do as much as possible to be part of that community and then it gets to the point in which you realize you can’t ever be that person. You accept that and you go back to your roots to find that sense of belonging. While I, at least, can say these are my roots back in Nigeria, there are other people that have it really tough – some of my black friends who were born in England find it much harder, and they can become consumed by racism. I’m not immune to it, but I try not to focus on it as that would get in the way of what I’m trying to pursue in life.

Before Covid, I went back to Nigeria every year. I haven’t been back since because, during Covid, my mum was living with us for 4, 5 months. I’m looking forward to getting back there soon. My sister has gone back to live there, but my brother is working and living in London.

On reflection, I think my strongest sense of belonging is attached to Ruby. On our passports, she is from here, Anghiari. And, it is here, in this little town, that my daughter and Alessia, my family, are happy.